Growing Pains

A visual representation of my 2017:

Safe to say, things felt a bit rough for me in this last year. Before typing this up I made a list of adjectives that came to mind when recapping 2017. The very first words that popped in my head for that list were anxiety, depression, and stress. I know, intense! But don't worry, this will not be a post spent complaining about how hard things were and how easy I hope they become in this new year. Like I've told you guys before; the bad times always teach us something, and man oh man 2017 taught me plenty!

Despite that gloomy intro, I did have lots of reasons to smile last year. I worked my ass off and got a great promotion with my company. I was able to visit my family several times this year, which almost never happens due to distance and work. My friends were a constant source of laughs, support, and motivation. I read great books and explored caves in Mexico. I loved and received love. I can't get into the tough stuff without first acknowledging the good. 

So after all that along with some cute photos online and you'd think I had an incredible year and would feel invincible heading into 2018, right? 

The reality is that I felt the pressure of anxiety and depression heavier than I have in past years. For a large part of the year I felt crippled by this; I would feel physically exhausted from faking the funk every day so that nobody discovered how much I was really struggling. I put all of my energy into my job because it was the easiest distraction, and in a lot of ways I isolated myself because it was so much easier to be alone with my thoughts than to force a smile around people. But of course, being alone with your thoughts can be a dangerous thing if you feed into the wrong ones.

The robotic rhythm of my life caught up to me and I allowed myself to feel even worse by neglecting things that truly made me happy. My blog was left hanging with half ass effort, and I stopped with a lot of self care. I started to feel like a failure; like a waste of potential.

There is not really a magical epiphany moment when it comes to things like this. People don't wake up one day and spring out of bed saying "I've done it! I beat my depression! Anxiety who?!". But something great that did happen toward the end of the year was a shift in my perspective. I am making the decision that I don't want my negative feelings to run my life. Some days I have to actively force bad thoughts out of my mind; even getting out of bed to get ready for the day takes tons of energy on some days. But I decided to use every ounce of energy to shine light on even the darkest times.

The lessons that 2017 taught me are not limited to those who deal with mental health issues. We all need that extra motivation to fight off our demons, whatever they may be. So in case you need some ideas to spark a change in your outlook, here is what I am taking with me into this New Year. 

• Celebrate your small wins: Completed a task on your to-do list without finishing the entire thing? Be proud for what you DID accomplish vs. focusing on what you have yet to do. Give yourself a little positive reinforcement because we all need it to keep pushing forward. There will always be more to get done. But, as they say, Rome wasn't built in a day.
• A little self care goes a long way: I'm sure most of my ladies already know this. But it's something that's easy to forget when you aren't feeling too hot. Self care is not limited to bath bombs and face masks; it could mean no skipped meals, a clean home, doing your hair even though you want to throw it in a greasy bun and go, reading a good book. Take the time out to do things that make you feel good about yourself, not only things that would look good on an IG story.
• You aren't the only one dealing with shit: It's easy to get caught up in the drama of our own lives, but we can't forget that everyone else has lives of their own too. If you hurt someone, you don't get to decide that you didn't because of your own feelings. And if you have the power to make someone smile, do it. The world needs more of that type of energy. 
• DO NOT SETTLE: If you have a dream, chase it. If plan A or B or C crashed and burned, change your strategy up but not your goals. If there's one thing that can make a person miserable, it's settling for a life you do not want. Getting too caught up in a comfort zone when you have greatness in you will only dim your light. Surround yourself with like minds and watch how a little perseverance can change even the dreariest situations around. 
• F*ck what people think: No, this is not me telling you to ignore constructive criticism or go on a "no new friends" social media rant. However, everyone has an opinion. There will always be someone who has an opinion about who you are and what you're doing, and how you could be doing it differently or better. Learn not to take things so personally and go after what YOU want unapologetically, because YOUR dreams are not for anyone else but YOU. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE, LET'S MAKE THIS A GREAT ONE!

Resilient

You guys know that strange calm you feel after a really ugly cry? When you take a hot shower and put on your fuzzy socks right after, and your worries are momentarily put into a different perspective (I really hope I'm not alone on this fuzzy sock thing). It's almost like that release of emotions clears your vision up a bit. That's called catharsis. And let me tell you, this morning, it got lit at my little (maybe not so little) catharsis party. So I figured I'd keep it real and share some insight for when you find yourself feeling like, well, you know:

Obvious statement: life is tough. It requires constant challenge and change. It can be painful. Shit gets scary for all of us at one point or another. But if I've learned anything from my own personal struggles, it's that what's most important is how you respond to the tough stuff. It's how you allow it to teach you and help make you stronger because let's be honest; things don't get easier. We just get better. 

If I can get a little personal with you guys; the holidays are a little harder for me than the rest of the year. My closest family is far away and it's not often that we are able to see each other. There's also the fact that living independently can be quite stressful. I won't fake the funk and make it seem like I'm living a Carrie Bradshaw lifestyle at 26. This morning I found myself feeling more "alone" and stressed than normal, and next thing I knew the anxiety felt like too much for me to handle. In comes the ugly Kim K crying face, the barely audible phone call to Mom where I'm sure I was barely speaking real words. Allll the drama. 

Once I was able to calm down and chill out with the pity party, I shifted my anxiety to gratitude. Mind you, this is something that sometimes we have to force. But it's necessary. Focus on what is good. Try to think about what you're going to learn from this moment and how it is better preparing you for your next tough moment. I look back on all the times I worried I couldn't handle something, and realized I always made it through. No matter how dramatically I did so. And the next time I face a challenge or am feeling overwhelmed, those past experiences provide me with comfort. Because they've shown me that I can always make it through.

I'm not going to tell you to just "shake it off" when life gets rough. Or minimize your pain by saying that "it could always be worse". We've all got our own battles we are dealing with. But next time you find yourself having a moment when you're unsure how to fight through it, just remind yourself that you've made it this far. And you are becoming a better version of yourself with every lesson you are able to embrace. 

Writer's Block

8 months. It's been 8 months since I've posted any writing on my blog. Damn guys, MY bad! 

To say that I've been experiencing some serious writer's block would be an understatement. I mean yeah all writers experience it, but that's 67% of the entire year that I did not write for you guys. *starts playing tiny violin for myself* One day, I was whining just like I am right now to a friend about this, and she offered the most simple solution - write about not being able to write.

Of course, I started procrastinating. I felt like SpongeBob when he needed to write an essay for boat school and had a psychotic episode doing everything he could to avoid getting started (SpongeBob is hilarious IDC how old I get; judge me if you must). Couldn't start with a dirty apartment, couldn't start without a quick nap, couldn't start when the anxiety of beginning was simply too much to handle. I realize as I write this that it doesn't only apply to writer's block; when doing anything that requires us to challenge ourselves, the hardest part truly is just getting off your ass and getting started.

I'm still in the process of getting my life together when it comes to these inspirational ruts, but through trial and error I can let you guys in on what has helped me act like less of a victim and more like a woman who has a world to conquer.

Stop complaining about not having time for what you love, and make the time 

It really is that simple. I try to catch myself every time I realize I'm mindlessly scrolling through social media or watching a rerun of the same Netflix show I've seen a million times. That's precious time I could be investing into my passion. Yes, we get busy. We all have jobs and lives to live, some maybe more hectic than others. But if you just try to be a little more self aware, I'm sure you can catch yourself with a little time on your hands to perfect your craft. Even 30 minutes a day adds up to a lot of time when you're consistent with it. 

Focus more on what inspires you, and less on the negative

While it's nice on the rare occasions that it happens, inspiration doesn't usually just fall into our laps. We have to welcome it in and make an effort to keep it. I find myself most inspired when I'm reading a great book, learning something new, or watching my friends and family have the discipline to accomplish their goals. When I focus too much on not being able to write, or having a tough day, or whatever has me feeling down, the desire to write typically vanishes. Let's head to the couch for a pity party! Do not underestimate the power of your own mind and positive energy.

CONFIDENCE CONFIDENCE CONFIDENCE

You have to be your own biggest fan. Believing in your own strengths is the only way you'll push yourself towards your potential. Self doubt really does kill dreams, because it's a lot easier to take on the challenge we KNOW we can overcome vs. the one that terrifies us. But think back to all the times in life you believed you could do something and all of the times you did not. Which times brought you the most success? This goes for writing that first sentence, your first set of squats, or getting back into school. If you don't pick up the pen, you'll never write a word. 

Quarter Life Crisis

I've touched on this subject before, but I'm ACTUALLY a quarter of a century old now *cringes*, so I think it makes me qualified to put my two cents in on this stage of life and why it's so appropriately deemed a "crisis".

I know this may sound crazy, but let's take social media out of the picture for a second. I know! Crazy! Relax, I'll get right back to it.

Most of what we experience throughout this point in life is not portrayed on our feed or broadcast throughout our timelines. The growing pains we feel during our mid twenties are concealed with Photoshop and strategically angled pictures, leaving most of us feeling quite alone with something that we actually have in common. Reminder: people only see what we want them to see. We are part of a generation that's so over exposed to people all over the world from all walks of life, and it only takes a second to look at a beautiful picture and think "My twenties are not this glamorous, when and where did I go wrong?!". *Plays tiny violin for all of us*

Here's the deal, the majority of young adults do not live the glitzy lifestyle they portray for the world. Not to say that being in your twenties isn't fun, but if we were a little more honest about some of the feelings and phases we go through, maybe more of us would feel comfortable being on our own timelines in life.

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So what exactly is a quarter life crisis anyway? I've broken it down into a few common themes that I can definitely vouch for.

• That awful "stuck" feeling:  You find yourself questioning why you don't feel like you "should" be feeling at this age. "What am I doing with my life?" is a constant theme for you. Being torn between the desire to dominate the world and the need to hide from your responsibilities all day resonates with you. Any time a decision is required you may fall into an existential crisis (yes, this can include deciding between eating those veggies like a grown up or heading for that drive thru because you deserve it). The bottom line is that you feel nowhere near meeting the expectations you or perhaps others have set for you.

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• Change; a wonderful, necessary asshole: We crave change during this time. What new and exciting adventure can I tackle now?! Growth requires change and we want to grow! However, not many of us mention the crippling anxiety we might feel once the changes are in our faces. The nostalgia gets real when those bills are due and a fonder time of less responsibilities is all we desire. More often you feel like you aren't "yourself", which can be a scary thought.
• The daily battle between comfort and risk: Do I make this career change or stick to what I know? Should I move out on my own or stay where it's easier? Should I be in a relationship or be single? We have so many decisions to make at this age. So many  different opportunities are at our fingertips. Constantly we are having to choose between sticking to what's comfortable or taking new risks, and we are now at an age when our decisions are ACTUALLY shaping our lives. No pressure, right??

I'm pretty sure by now I've bummed you out a bit, my bad! But hopefully you related to some of it so that you guys can see how normal it all is. They wouldn't be called growing pains if they weren't a pain to deal with. Learn to overcome it. Put the phone down and stop comparing yourself to someone's best photos of themselves. Don't allow yourself to remain stuck, especially over things that aren't real. You may not feel like yourself, but you will always be YOU. Every person has had their own life experiences, and are on their own timelines. Comparison is the kiss of death, and we're only hurting ourselves when we set our standards based on another person's journey. Learn what makes you extraordinary and run with it, so that you'll be able to define yourself throughout all stages of life.

What Happened to Feminism?

In the late 90's, Time Magazine asked the question, "is feminism dead?". It seemed that even those who were fighting for equal rights among genders did not want to be called feminists; the word took on negative light because the general public confused it with extremism and dramatized images of anarchy and the hatred of men. A movement that originated as a campaign for equality became associated with a battle of the sexes.

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Flash forward to almost twenty years later and you'll see a complete 180; it's 2016 and the words feminism and feminist are more embraced than they have been in long time. Pop culture has had a major hand in this movement, with artists and public figures advocating for the cause in ways that have never been seen before. 

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This revival in the movement is IMPORTANT. Conversations and debates around this topic need to happen, however it seems as though we are still confused on what it really  means to be a feminist. I quoted the textbook definition of feminism at the header for this very reason; feminism, in it's original intent, is a movement fighting for equality between genders. That's it guys. Equality. This does not mean women should hate men, it doesn't mean we should attack each other for not sharing the same ideals, it just means we should all be treated equally.

Before typing this up I asked the opinions of those on both sides of the fence with this. I got a mix of answers both extreme and neutral. It pretty much sums up into two major opinions:

• Women are taking it too far: Some of those I spoke with have traditional family and gender role values (nothing wrong with that, btw). They expressed to me that they feel as though the modern day feminist movement is destroying these values. Public figures like Amber Rose are on a mission to normalize over-sexual behaviors, and their followers are in turn bashing more "conservative" women who don't share in this mission. While they are all for fair treatment, they do feel as though some roles and values should remain traditional and sacred.
• We can do whatever the hell we want so get out of our way: On the opposite end, I spoke with those who feel that the current movement is exactly what we need. Women are sexual beings just as men are, and if we want to flaunt it then society should embrace it. Give us equal pay and let us do any and everything men can do. If we want to go out wearing something that makes us feel sexy, then that's nobody else's business but ours. 

And lastly, there's the opinion of little old me (which was also shared by some that I spoke with). Before I say anything, I want to mention that both of the previously mentioned ideas have valid points in my eyes. I'm definitely more of a neutral person.

I feel that the idea of feminism needs to be redirected to it's roots. Women should be viewed as equals in society. For me this encompasses economics, politics, social rights, sexuality....pretty much all basic human rights. Men and women are different. We can't argue that. But men are not BETTER than women, the same way that women are not better than men. A person is a person, bottom line. 

I do feel that this confusion on what it means to be a feminist is hurting the movement more than anything. When Amber Rose, for example, is running around fighting for her right to be a sexual being, I get her. However, by ONLY choosing to advocate for sexual rights and ignoring all of the other qualities that make women great (intellect, talent, etc.), she seems to be using the movement for her own personal gain and not the empowerment of ALL women. We can't ignore all of the wonderful qualities that make us powerful. Yes, we are sexual beings, but that is absolutely NOT all that we are or should strive to be.

This creates a divide between us that is dangerous. All of a sudden, you're either "Kim K" or "Ayesha Curry". There is not an between. Women begin to bash each other's lifestyles while only supporting what their personal beliefs agree with.  PSA: that completely defeats the purpose! Men are looking at us like indecisive crybabies who don't know what we want when we behave this way. 

I know I've rambled on here, but bottom line, we need to fight for equality. We all have different ideas of how to live, but the main purpose of feminism is that we should all be treated the same. If you want someone to respect your way of living, you need to be able to respect theirs. We can be whoever we want to be whenever we want to. As long as you're true and genuine to yourself, (AKA stop doing things soley for the attention of men) that is what should matter. 

Free Yourself (Archived)

I had a doctor's appointment a few days ago that was a serious inconvenience to my day. I made my appointment for 9am (when I should be clocking in at work), and wasn't seen until almost 1130. The staff seemed to have no idea what they were doing, not to mention I was three hours late for work. As I was shuffled between waiting rooms, it never crossed my mind to simply leave. I needed my annual exam and I didn't want to prolong anything having to do with my health.

This annoying experience got me thinking; when we're sick, we take medicine to relieve the physical symptoms ASAP.  If we feel hungover after a night of partying, we immediately grab Advil and chug water to make the ordeal as quick and painless as possible. Why is it that we have an urgency to cure physical ailments as fast as we can, but strains to our mental health are allowed to linger and cause us much more pain than a simple cold or hangover?

When we hold on to toxic relationships, we're doing much more harm to our mental and sometimes physical well-being than we realize. This applies to romantic relationships, friendships, even family ties. If there is more bad than good, more sadness than happiness, more frustration and stress than laughter and enjoyment, it's time to reevaluate why we feel the need to hold on. From personal experience as well as an outsider looking in, there are a few different reasons why we allow the negativity to linger in our lives:

• This person is a comfort zone; we are so used to their presence in our lives that we become terrified of the thought of living without them. Perhaps it's seeing their name in your inbox, knowing what they are doing when they are not with you, even constant fighting becomes routine and we are unsure how or if we even want to change that habit.
• We cling to the good memories. We cherish the thought of whatever this person used to be toward us that made us feel connected in the first place.  There is always hope that if you hold out long enough, they will be that person again; you'll revert back to that original happiness you once felt with them.
• Guilt. When we love people, we feel a certain sense of obligation to them. We even put our own happiness to the side at times to avoid hurting them or feeling like we've abandoned them.
• Insecurity holds a lot of people back as well.  We may feel like this person has seen all of our flaws, and the fact that they're still around must mean that they love us more than anyone else could. If this person is truly toxic, they may even play on your insecurities to ensure you don't go anywhere.

I want to clarify that even though you may be involved in a toxic relationship, it doesn't always mean that the person is a toxic or evil individual.  It may just be that you're both trying to force something that can't work.  Different goals, morals, mind sets, or interests can have an impact on relationships that we don't realize. Sometimes, we want something to work so badly that we try to force them. We ignore major lifestyle differences, and in the process can make each other quite unhappy.

We won't let go of these ties until we are ready to stop feeling so shitty.  Sometimes, this can take quite some time. It doesn't happen until you commit to true self-reflection. You have to be dedicated to finding your own happiness, and be brave enough to do what it takes to get there. Letting go can be terrifying, but isn't it scarier to think about living your entire life in pain?

My advice? Be selfish with yourself. Break away from that tunnel vision and imagine living your life for you. What dreams or goals do you have for your future? Can you realistically achieve them without letting go of the heavy distractions that unhealthy relationships come with?

When someone is an alcoholic, the withdrawals are terrible, sometimes life threatening. Despite the painful process of letting go of this habit, those who rid themselves of the dependency live to tell amazing stories of improved health, better relationships, and even genuine happiness. The same concepts that apply to our bodies apply to our minds and hearts as well. You have to feed your soul if you ever want to be happy, and unfortunately some relationships take more from us than we can give. The key is realizing when you have to let go, and loving yourself enough to do so.

How You Gonna Win When You Ain't Right Within (Archived)

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." 

-Oscar Wilde

Our generation is a tricky one.  On one hand, there is so much potential; we're creative, talented, intelligent, enthusiastic and funny, all the while with infinite opportunities resting at our fingertips. And yet, with all of these promising qualities, there seems to be a major distraction.  So many of us are more concerned with being accepted and blending in with the "norm" than with being true to our unique personalities and tastes.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I can't truly appreciate a person until I am able to see who they truly are; when their guard is down and genuine thoughts and personalities shine through.  I love silliness, curiosity, random ideas, true laughter, passion, and everything else in between.  When those qualities that make a personality unique are exposed,  that person shines a bit brighter.

Unfortunately, some of us have forgotten the importance of being able to stand out in a crowd.  People are not truly happy.  They are too busy pretending to like what a crowd of people are blindly following, all the while not even liking each other.  News flash everyone, we don't all have to have the same taste in music, fashion, men/women, etc.  There's no need to be a photo copy of the person who gets the most "likes" on social media.  What works for one does not work for all.

What makes a person stand out in my eyes?

1. Genuine passion; that shit is contagious.  When someone is so wrapped up in their own interests, hopes, and dreams, they don't have much time to try and follow the goals of a crowd.  Talk to me about what makes you tick, how you plan on conquering your own world.  Introduce me to things I've never heard of before. I'm drawn to this type of quality in any person, they unknowingly push me to want the same for myself.
2. Being able to hold a conversation that isn't generic.  When I say generic, I mean only being able to speak and have an opinion on what everyone else is talking about at the time.  Who's dating who, who wore what, the latest pop culture gossip.  That's cool and everything, but...anything else going on with you?? My mind needs stimulation beyond that.  Be an interesting person to talk to and people will gravitate towards you.
3. Don't be afraid to show your silly, quirky side.  I don't understand why some haven't caught on to this yet.  While some are trying to hard to fit in by being "flawless", they could actually enjoy themselves instead and still achieve their goal.  The charm that a funny person has could distract me time and time again.  Making a stupid joke or a silly face are simple gestures that make a person so easy to be around.  I love the good vibes I get from those I can laugh with.  No it won't make you look stupid, it'll make you easy to relate to; a good time.
4. Be unapologetically YOURSELF.  The dopest people I've ever met haven't had a certain swag or been the most well known.  They're the people who carry themselves with confidence.  Those who allow their own unique qualities to shine through with no hesitation or imitations.  Just raw and real and true.  That's who I strive to be.  Forget the hairstyle that everyone is rocking or the crowd that everyone is trying to be a part of.  Give me a few dope people to vibe with and I'm a happy girl.

Mobile Lovers (Archived)

There are so many different and wonderful forms of art, especially in today's world. Some can be abstract and others filled with beautiful colors that brighten rooms, and then there are the simple yet profound pieces that speak volumes.  This piece by Banksy titled "Mobile Lovers" definitely sends a message about relationships in today's technology run society.  When I first laid eyes on it a few weeks ago, I immediately got to thinking.  Is it possible, with all of the technology and social media at our fingertips daily, to truly live in the moment? Especially when it comes to intimacy and relationships?

I realize that this sounds contradictory coming from a person who is not only single, but is using technology at this very moment to run my blog, post pictures on Instagram, and keep up with my family on Facebook.  And yet, I firmly believe that there has to be a limit to the rate at which we allow social media to influence our lives and relationships.  Too often I am seeing the most private and intense moments of relationships displayed on the internet for the world to see.

Subliminal pictures and quotes are posted rather than insecurities confronted in person, the pages of people we don't even know are being habitually stalked to find some kind of evidence (usually non-existent) of cheating, and entire lists of followers are in the know of the make-ups and breakups of couples.  But worst of all, more attention is being paid to a world that is superficial, than to significant others that are very real, and right in front of our faces.

We stomp our feet and complain that our boyfriends/girlfriends are needy and nosey, but the reality is that the neediness may very well be coming from attention being steered away from trying to be present in our relationships and instead pouring that attention into relationships that only exist in cyber space.  Posting the best pictures of ourselves to get validation from strangers that should be coming from those closest to us. How can any relationship survive with that kind of infidelity?

I am no expert on relationships.  I am also not innocent when it comes to spending some time on social media.  But here's a suggestion, maybe even a challenge.  Next time you're with your significant other, or even your friends, put the phones away.  Instead of scrolling through pictures of others living their lives, live the life that is right in front of you.  Rather than looking at beautiful people online and tapping that like button, tell your companion how great you think they are. Step out into the sunlight and live a little.  When we stop comparing our lives to how we are viewing others and begin to shape our relationships ourselves, feelings and experiences have the opportunity to flourish.  Try it out!

The Wavering Journey of a 20-Something Year Old (Archived)

I had the perfect plan after graduation in August; study for the GRE and run off to graduate school to make the entire world proud of my post graduate accomplishments.  A few months have passed by, and I am now realizing that for many of us 20 somethings, that is not at all what the real world has in store for us.  I've hit a fork in the road.  My mind changes at least five times a day regarding what I want to do with my life and where I want to wander off to.  At first, I was paralyzed with the fear of  the future and failure.  Now, I have a completely different and refreshing outlook on all of the possibilities that are ahead of me.  One thing is for certain though; I am 22 and I have all of the potential in the world to be successful at anything I set my mind out to do.  The good thing is, I am at the perfect age to take a chill pill and figure this shit out!

   Here are a few tips (that I am still working on myself) that I feel could   enlighten my fellow young adults in this crazy and perfect moment in life

FIGURE OUT WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY, AND DO THAT SHIT!

I know, we hear this all the time, right? Well, it's much easier to hear it than to actually do it.  Too often we are focused more on what will bring us money and success, that we completely overlook what will bring us peace and happiness.  Obviously, we want to make money.  I know I do.  But I'm learning more and more that I can't be as successful at a job that makes me unhappy.  If you love what you do, you're going to excel.  What happens when you excel? The benefits come pouring in.  We are way too young to be involved in anything that makes us miserable.  Why not now, when we are not tied down to much, to do all of the things we are dreaming of? If we pass on it now, it will be nothing but a regret 10 years from now.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, GO AHEAD AND BE SELFISH!

At the end of the day, the choices that we make now are only going to affect our own lives in the future.  Doing what we believe will make others happy is not going to benefit us OR the people we are attempting to please.  If you want to do something, if you are passionate about something, then go ahead and do just that.  If someone is truly on your side, they will want you to do what fulfills you and makes you a happier person.  If you want to travel, go! Want to fall into a passionate connection with someone, do that shit.  Feeling like you want to be alone, do that and don't explain yourself.  We can't make anyone else happy until we find ourselves and make ourselves content first.

STOP ALLOWING SOCIAL MEDIA TO TAKE OVER YOUR LIFE

I get it, we all love Instagram and Twitter.  But I'm noticing more and more that social media has made our generation completely anti-social in the REAL WORLD.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with posting selfies and checking out what our friends are up to.  But when I am in a room filled with people and everyone is staring into their screens admiring other's lives rather than living their own, it concerns me (and annoys the hell out of me). This influences our desires and perspectives on what life SHOULD be like at this age.  We see the wealthiest people jet setting and buying the latest material objects, and assume that's how real life should be.  Well, sorry to tell you, it's far from real life.  So, relax, and stop trying to convince social media that you live a fantasy life.  You'll save more money and connect with more people if you actually LIVE rather than attempt to CONVINCE others that you are living. At this age, it's only going to depress you to try and live up to the standard that the internet has created for us. 

Bottom line, this is the age to find and create ourselves.  There is no need to allow fear to control our actions.  We have the opportunity to make choices, change our minds, start over, and everything else in between.  If something brings you happiness, pursue it wholeheartedly while you still have the chance.  We've got plenty of time to be older and have tons of responsibilities. 

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT TELLING ANYONE TO LEAVE BILLS UNPAID OR NOT SHOW UP TO WORK. HAVE FUN, BUT STILL GET YOUR SHIT DONE, LOL.