The Urban Cocktail

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Quarter Life Crisis

I've touched on this subject before, but I'm ACTUALLY a quarter of a century old now *cringes*, so I think it makes me qualified to put my two cents in on this stage of life and why it's so appropriately deemed a "crisis".

I know this may sound crazy, but let's take social media out of the picture for a second. I know! Crazy! Relax, I'll get right back to it.

Most of what we experience throughout this point in life is not portrayed on our feed or broadcast throughout our timelines. The growing pains we feel during our mid twenties are concealed with Photoshop and strategically angled pictures, leaving most of us feeling quite alone with something that we actually have in common. Reminder: people only see what we want them to see. We are part of a generation that's so over exposed to people all over the world from all walks of life, and it only takes a second to look at a beautiful picture and think "My twenties are not this glamorous, when and where did I go wrong?!". *Plays tiny violin for all of us*

Here's the deal, the majority of young adults do not live the glitzy lifestyle they portray for the world. Not to say that being in your twenties isn't fun, but if we were a little more honest about some of the feelings and phases we go through, maybe more of us would feel comfortable being on our own timelines in life.

So what exactly is a quarter life crisis anyway? I've broken it down into a few common themes that I can definitely vouch for.

  • That awful "stuck" feeling:  You find yourself questioning why you don't feel like you "should" be feeling at this age. "What am I doing with my life?" is a constant theme for you. Being torn between the desire to dominate the world and the need to hide from your responsibilities all day resonates with you. Any time a decision is required you may fall into an existential crisis (yes, this can include deciding between eating those veggies like a grown up or heading for that drive thru because you deserve it). The bottom line is that you feel nowhere near meeting the expectations you or perhaps others have set for you.
  • Change; a wonderful, necessary asshole: We crave change during this time. What new and exciting adventure can I tackle now?! Growth requires change and we want to grow! However, not many of us mention the crippling anxiety we might feel once the changes are in our faces. The nostalgia gets real when those bills are due and a fonder time of less responsibilities is all we desire. More often you feel like you aren't "yourself", which can be a scary thought.
  • The daily battle between comfort and risk: Do I make this career change or stick to what I know? Should I move out on my own or stay where it's easier? Should I be in a relationship or be single? We have so many decisions to make at this age. So many  different opportunities are at our fingertips. Constantly we are having to choose between sticking to what's comfortable or taking new risks, and we are now at an age when our decisions are ACTUALLY shaping our lives. No pressure, right??

I'm pretty sure by now I've bummed you out a bit, my bad! But hopefully you related to some of it so that you guys can see how normal it all is. They wouldn't be called growing pains if they weren't a pain to deal with. Learn to overcome it. Put the phone down and stop comparing yourself to someone's best photos of themselves. Don't allow yourself to remain stuck, especially over things that aren't real. You may not feel like yourself, but you will always be YOU. Every person has had their own life experiences, and are on their own timelines. Comparison is the kiss of death, and we're only hurting ourselves when we set our standards based on another person's journey. Learn what makes you extraordinary and run with it, so that you'll be able to define yourself throughout all stages of life.