The Urban Cocktail

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Mobile Lovers (Archived)

There are so many different and wonderful forms of art, especially in today's world. Some can be abstract and others filled with beautiful colors that brighten rooms, and then there are the simple yet profound pieces that speak volumes.  This piece by Banksy titled "Mobile Lovers" definitely sends a message about relationships in today's technology run society.  When I first laid eyes on it a few weeks ago, I immediately got to thinking.  Is it possible, with all of the technology and social media at our fingertips daily, to truly live in the moment? Especially when it comes to intimacy and relationships?

I realize that this sounds contradictory coming from a person who is not only single, but is using technology at this very moment to run my blog, post pictures on Instagram, and keep up with my family on Facebook.  And yet, I firmly believe that there has to be a limit to the rate at which we allow social media to influence our lives and relationships.  Too often I am seeing the most private and intense moments of relationships displayed on the internet for the world to see.

Subliminal pictures and quotes are posted rather than insecurities confronted in person, the pages of people we don't even know are being habitually stalked to find some kind of evidence (usually non-existent) of cheating, and entire lists of followers are in the know of the make-ups and breakups of couples.  But worst of all, more attention is being paid to a world that is superficial, than to significant others that are very real, and right in front of our faces.

We stomp our feet and complain that our boyfriends/girlfriends are needy and nosey, but the reality is that the neediness may very well be coming from attention being steered away from trying to be present in our relationships and instead pouring that attention into relationships that only exist in cyber space.  Posting the best pictures of ourselves to get validation from strangers that should be coming from those closest to us. How can any relationship survive with that kind of infidelity?

I am no expert on relationships.  I am also not innocent when it comes to spending some time on social media.  But here's a suggestion, maybe even a challenge.  Next time you're with your significant other, or even your friends, put the phones away.  Instead of scrolling through pictures of others living their lives, live the life that is right in front of you.  Rather than looking at beautiful people online and tapping that like button, tell your companion how great you think they are. Step out into the sunlight and live a little.  When we stop comparing our lives to how we are viewing others and begin to shape our relationships ourselves, feelings and experiences have the opportunity to flourish.  Try it out!